Holiday Blues....

Whatever happened to the joy of the Christmas holiday that we felt when we were kids? Man it truly is a holiday for kids. It seemed so magical and wonderful back then. Now it is just a hassle and stressful. I remember the anticipation I felt waiting for the time to open the presents and hoping I got everything I asked for. Now I find myself just glad that we draw names and don't buy presents for everyone anymore. Even if it means that I don't get as many gifts; I don't have to buy as many gifts and that is far more valuable to me in my adulthood. My how times change. Being a kid really is priceless. Before the world get's a hold of you and wears you down. Fa la la la la... :)

Holidays....

Happy holidays to all. I am actually getting into decorating for the holidays this year. I bought a tree thanks to "peer pressure" from my best friend. But now that I got it up I do actually like it. I will never admit that to her though! :) I have outside lights up and even inside lights. It's looks pretty festive in here if I do say so myself. Not sure why I am spending my money on this stuff. It's just me here. But at least it looks nice for me I guess. Most of the year I am fine being alone, but the holidays tend to make you feel like you are missing something if you don't have a significant other. All the family and togetherness that the holidays stands for. Oh well..
Times like this I am thankful for my friends though. I am truly blessed in that regard. I don't have a ton of friends, but I have 2 or 3 real quality friends and that is far better. They are the best.

Piles.........

What is it about people and pile's? Everyone seems to have one. Some may be bigger than others, but everyone seems to dread the dreaded filing/going through papers and stuff as much as I do. I finally went through mine thus the reason for the posting. I feel so much better when I do go through the pile, so why I am not motivated to do it more often or better yet take care of the stuff right away. Which would eliminate the need for a pile. :) But that doesn't happen. I always say I am going to, but it doesn't take long before another pile rears it's ugly head.. Oh well.....We really are creature's of habit.

Stubbed...

Why does stubbing your toe hurt so darn much? Damn... I am sure the pain is worse than childbirth. :) I stubbed my little toe and darn anyway, I thought I was going to die. The throbbing pain...and it just wouldn't go away. Even now, (three days later), it is still sensitive. Oh well, life goes on. There are worse things than a stubbed toe, but worse than that pain? I don't think so. ha

Life...

Life sure can be trying and difficult at times. I have been in a stretch of that lately. Thus that can account for my lack of blog entries. Sometimes it is hard to write when you have nothing good to say. But life must go on as they say. So here I am....
Happy Hump day to all!

Another Flower Pic...

Flower pic

Lawn Queen....

Yep that's me... Never dreamt it would happen but I am becoming very anal about my lawn and yard looking good. My neighbor and I have taken over the lawn care duties for the condo unit of ours. It has actually been fun and it is good to have something to do to keep me busy and my mind off of the crap that life can throw at you. We have actually been getting quite a few compliments which is cool. It's been a good thing. Too bad I haven't been writing in my blog as faithfully as I have been taking care of the lawn. ha ..oh well....

Happy Birthday...

Happy birthday to me.....Happy birthday to me......
I remember looking forward to birthday's when I was a kid.. ha -well those days are over. :)
Busy day at work and now heading out for supper with my best friend. Gonna pig out and forget the age thing ha....

Still alive....

Gee it has been a month since I have been on my blog. Things have just been crazy here. Work has been busy because of some new additional duties I have taken on. So training, training, and more training. Which is ok I guess. The more you know the more valuable and indispensible you are:)
Anyway, nothing overly new other than work. I have still been working out, still checking out the cute guys there, and using them for whatever motivation I may need. ha -eye candy is a wonderful thing.
It is starting to get nice here which I love. This past weekend was in the 70's and it was wonderful. Spent a lot of time outside.
Later....

Happy Hump Day.....

I am having an ok hump day actually. The day has gone rather fast at work and I have got a lot done. Feeling fairly productive actually.
I have been tanning or should I say "red"ing...I tan so damn weird. I always have more of a reddish tint to my skin; it never gets nice and bronze like some people. Oh well....
Speaking of tint, there is this car window tinting place in town and their newest add is "show us your tints".. ha get it??? show us your tits??? But show us your tints?? ha--funny to me. Talks about after you get your windows tinted everyone will want you to show them your tints... ha OK...I am easily amused I guess.
On a positive note, I went shopping for a pair of jeans and dress pants last night and thanks to my working out, I went down a whopping two sizes. Cool.... I was totally surprised cuz I haven't really lost much weight, but I must be firming up. So instead of wearing my usual 8 I am down to a size 4. ... ha..yeah right....NOT... I will not be notating my actual size here on the blog. Uff..some things are just better left to the imagination.. ha. I have seen people a lot worse, but I am no size 8 that's for sure...not even close unfortunately. But I was still somewhat excited by my shopping adventure. I have never had to go out of the dressing room to get a smaller size...that was cool.
Anyway...enough for now...later....

Beer...

Why is it that some days a friggin beer just tastes so damn good? And then some days it doesn't. Friday night went out with a friend, and the beer just tasted so damn good, that we were drinking it like it was water. It just tasted Goooooooood.... ha
I don't go out and party like I use to. But I still like a beer every once in a while. But even when I use to party it was the same way. Some nights it was like drinking mud, they went down so slow. But then some nights it was like frickin water.... Who knows why.... all I know is Friday it was definitely going down like water. ha

Wow...

This guy over at the fitness center is amazing..He is just so damn hot! He wears all black, works out like a mad dog, and sweats like a pig. But it is so damn sexy on him. His body is very muscular but not to the excess. Like my friend and I were saying the other day, I don't think we could even tell you what his face looks like. ha. His body is amazing. She is totally intimidated by him. ha--funny to see her like that. Last time we were there, we tanned. And when we came out he was waiting for a tanning bed. He said something to us and she was so damn nervous she couldn't even respond. ha--
Anyway, I can only imagine him laying in that tanning bed bronzing that amazing body..As we were leaving she says, "I bet his penis is all nice and warm right about now." ha.. I couldn't quit thinking about him that night. He has got a couple of groupies...:)

Great Roadtrip...

Well my roadtrip on Friday was great. There is something to be said for hitting the open road and just getting the hell out of dodge....and in the company of a great friend? Well it just doesn't get much better...
The time seemed to go way to fast though. We shopped and shopped......didn't buy a whole lot but it didn't matter. It is fun just to gawk too...
We took a bunch of fun pic's too which was fun. It turned out to be a hat day... we tried on hats and snapped pics. It was a blast. There are some mighty u-g-l-y hats out there...ha
All in all it was a great day.....

You're what???

Got an e-mail from my X the other day. He has given "someone" an engagement ring. Ouch that hurts. Talk about a blow to a person's ego. Doesn't want to be married to me anymore but not quite 2 years later, gives a ring to someone else.
I knew he was living with someone, but for him to make a committment? Well it just hurts like hell. Talk about a person's stomach dropping to their knees when I was reading that e-mail. Uff..
It wasn't pleasant. At first I thought I was dealing with it ok, but I am not. It just hit me hard and the last couple of days I have been totally bummed out. Sometimes it seems like the hurt will never end. Two years later there are still things that he can do that totally put me in the shitter....
Part of me wants to just tell him off. Let him know how much he has fucked me up. But then another part of me says not to. Will it change anything? No. Will it give me back my dignity? No. Will it give me back my old life? No... so why do it? Why stoop to that level and look bad.
I just hate feeling like this. It sucks. I would have thought after the first year or so that things wouldn't hurt as much...uff was I wrong.
Well back to work. Just had to vent.

Roadtrip!!!!

I am so friggin excited. Kel (my best friend in the whole wide world) and I just planned our next roadtip! We go to a town about 100 miles from here and just shop and eat... I always LOVE it when we do this. It is just so much fun. It turns into a whole day affair which is fine by me. There is just something about it that I enjoy so much. I love spending time with her, and of course I love to shop and eat. So I guess it is just a perfect day. It is just about us, and what we want to do. Kind of a day to spoil ourselves.
One good thing that came out of my divorce was that I learned the importance of friendships. They are just so important and they are indeed priceless. This friendship that Kel and I have has just become so damn important to me. I love her and I love our time together. She is such a great person and even though we are different in a lot of ways, we just really click. She's the best.
So hopefully the weather cooperates and next Friday we will be on the road!

Tagless Clothing....

I was getting ready this morning and I just felt the need to comment on the best thing since sliced bread. Tagless clothing...for example tagless shirts, underwear, etc...How great is that? I hate tags, esp on my T-shirts. They irritate you if you leave them on, and if you cut them off then they itch where you cut it off. It's just never comfortable. So when I put on my first tagless T-shirt?? Oh my how wonderful! no itching, no scratching...they just print the info right on the clothing.How cool is that?
The last pair of underwear I bought? Same way.. Oh is this too good to be true I thought to myself? :)
Anyway, my koudos for the day goes to whoever invented the tagless idea. I love you man!!! Or woman whatever the case may be! :)

Gerber Daisy Pic.....

Happy Friday...

What a crazy week. I haven't even had time to scope out blogs let alone write in mine. My eye is all better so that is good. Lasted about as long as the doctor said it would.
Well I survived Valentine's Day. I worked, then went to work out. Not even any good eye candy that night. Which sucks... that would have been nice. So after that I went home and had chicken and stove stop stuffing. ha..of course...what else. I am on a roll with that shit again. The evening was pretty uneventful. I did get some flowers at work which was nice. From this guy that I am....hmmmmmmm what exactly is it I am doing with him? Not sure... anyway he is nice and we get together about once a week or so...
Why is it that the holidays always make you long for what you don't have? That totally sucks! Do you really want it or is it just because you don't have it that you THINK you want it... Grass is always greener as they say.... Heck I don't know...
The rest of the week is pretty much a blur. Work has been busy.. and it has finally gotten cold here. YIKES... I want January back. It was so mild. Well this week the freeze has hit. Supposed to be around for a few days. Even feels worse cuz we are not use to it.
We've been very lucky though so I guess we can't bitch too much......

Monday Blues....

Well another Monday... Boy do the weekends go fast. My eye is getting better so that is a good thing. Still red but not nearly as bad as it was last week and over the weekend. U-G-L-Y!
Chipper people irritate me on Monday's...(well they irritate me any day but especially on Mondays)-ha-I am not a Monday person, and not really a morning person either I am realizing. Anyway, we have some of those people at work.. you know the type...OVERLY chipper on Monday's and in the morning..You may as well run your finger nails down a chalk board. It makes me cringe just like that... ha
Well my "ass" man at the gym has been "de-throwned." A better ass has emerged in first place :) My friend Kel and I noticed it on Thursday when we were there. He was right in front of us as we were riding the bikes. She mentioned it first, but I had already noticed him. He was the total package. NICE... ha
In fact he made Kel do more squats than normal because he was over by there and she didn't want to quit while he was looking. She wanted to look like a studette I guess... ha ..
So then of course I had to match her # of squats....
Well I made it through another Monday work day...time to blow this pop stand......
Later....

Redeye anyone?

Well went to the doctor this morning...yesterday my right eye was red, and this morning it is much worse. U-G-L-Y...
Popped a blood vessel. Now that is sexy.... ha-NOT! Anyway, it isn't a pretty site. It is painful to look at but no pain involved which is good I guess. I asked him if he thought it could have been caused by working out and he said it is possible. But some people just get them and there is no reason. I guess to play it safe I may have to quit straining my eyes so much looking at the cute asses and legs over at the fitness center. ha :) That one guy's ass could have caused me to pop a blood vessel...it was THAT nice....:)
Actually it's probably the squats and lunges I have been doing... Uff those are killers..... My guess is that I just got it like he said, for no real reason. Some people just wake up with them. So who knows.. Anyway he said they don't go away quickly so I am probably going to be stuck with it for a week or so... How wonderful!!!! Life is GOOD! :)

Grammy's last night. I was smart this year and taped it so that I could fast forward through the boring stuff or the people I don't care to see.. Such hype for that show and it is usually a let down. I was glad to see Kelly Clarkson win though. She just seems so genuine to me and I love her voice. She could hardly control herself when she won that first grammy. What a feeling that must have been.
2nd thing I want to talk about it Keith Urban. Shit he is hot... That whole look of his just suits him so well. YUMMMY....... :)
Lastly, Teri Hatcher's dress. Wow...not that was interesting...didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination.

Well I'm off...Later!

You know you have no life when....

This is a picture I took while going through a carwash...I know...I need to get a life... ha -But actually it turned out sort of cool!

Tidbits....

I saw this on another person's blog and thought it was kind of cool....she put tidbits about herself. Some silly, some stupid, some plain and boring..... but posted none the less.....
So here goes....
1. When I eat ice cream I mix it up til it looks like soup.... Vanilla ice cream with a little choc syrup is my favorite.
2. My glass tends to be "half empty" more than "half full".
3. I love talking about sex. (why haven't I done that on this boring blog you ask? Well that is a good question).. ha
4. I love pringles. Oh and I eat them upside down. So the chip angle is opposite that of the curve of your tongue. I love the salty side.
5. I love to golf.
6. I love to watch golf on TV. (most people find this boring, even people who golf. but not me)
7. I would "do" Tiger in a heartbeat.. ha
8. My Favorite female golfer is Annika Sorenstam. (No I wouldn't "do" her in a heartbeat:) :)
9. I love stove top stuffing... (chicken flavor)...Mmmmmm mmmmm.
10. I am left handed...
11. The event that changed my life forever? My divorce...
12. I love photography...
13. Friends are so important to me. I realize that more now than ever thanks to #11.
14. I am more of an introvert than an extrovert...I am a "wanna be" extrovert though...I can be that way in short bursts...but always revert back to my old ways.
15. I absolutely love HGTV. (Home and Garden TV) I could watch that shit all day!
16. I am a sleeper. LOVE to sleep and usually don't have much trouble in that dept. Love to take naps.
17. My favorite food is pizza. Love it!
18. Favorite pop-Mt Dew
19. Favorite beer-Coors Light...Favorite Drink...Mike's
20. All time Favorite TV show: Loved Ally Mc Beal....That show made me laugh one minute and cry the next.
21. Favorite Band: BonJovi...oh now there is another one I would "do" in a heartbeat. He is HOT...
22. I use to hate country music...but the older I get the more I find some of it that I like. Rascal Flats, Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Sara Evans, Martina McBride...
23. I love to drive. Just hit the open road and enjoy the ride.
24. Favorite place I have visited? Las Vegas.
25. I have always wanted to go on a cruise.
26. I drive an SUV and wouldn't have it any other way. Can't imagine not having one.
27. I have a newfound love for "working out". Never thought it would happen but it has.
28. My first car was a 1967 Plymouth Satellite. It was my Grandpa's, and boy did I think I was hot shit... ha
29. I am a jeans and T-shirt sort of gal. Love to be comfy...grew up a tomboy..
30. Blue eyes, brown hair...
Well that's about it for now... If I think of anything else I will have to post a "Tidbits II"...

Flower Pic

Another one of my flower pic's. I seem to have an addiction to taking pic's of them for some reason. They are so beautiful and every once in a while you get a good shot. It's kind of a challenge... I guess.

Site of the Day...

www.answers.com

Answers.com! Type a topic into the AnswerBox. Get instant answers on almost two million topics culled from reliable dictionaries, encyclopedias, translations, biographies, companies and financial info, sports, weather, idioms, tech terms, acronyms and much more.

Kind of a neat site....

Last Night...

Well I survived the night. Actually it wasn't as bad as I built it up to be. It was just a long day. 8 hour work day and then another 4 hours in the evening. BUT as I said, it wasn't that bad. I think you can build things up to be so damn bad, because you just don't want to do it.
We went to an area basketball game, and our company threw out mini basketball's and company T-shirts in between quarters. The game was good, which helped too. Plus the kids just love that shit. If the little buggers would have had any money, I could have made the evening worth my while cuz they were trying to bribe us to make sure and throw the ball to them... ha
Oh FYI to TheMole....I haven't been to the gym since Sunday because my evenings have been booked this week so far, but I still got a little "cute ass" looking in last night. One of the ref's sure had a nice one. ha-And just to defend myself, a friend of mine pointed it out. So it's not like I noticed it. But once she pointed it out, I of course, had to check it out! ha :)

Crazy Week..

Busy week so far, so not a whole lot of time to bore my blog to death with any postings. ha-

Isn't "guilt" interesting? I am totally going to do something tonight that I REALLY do not want to do, but I feel I should. Sooo I am doing it. I hate feeling like that. I wish I could just not give a shit and do what I want. BUT then I guess that isn't reality is it? I feel obligated sometimes, and I hate that. Even though I know I should go, and I know it's the "good" thing to do, I don't care. I don't want to go. What I don't want to go to is irrelevant really because this type of feeling can be felt for a plethora of situations in life. However, I will make one more comment about tonight. I have to wear a "company" shirt because this event is for work. Well the T-shirt is not comfortable at all, and will probably cut off the circulation to my lower extremities by the end of the evening...I wish they would realize that there are some employees that are a bit on the "thick" side. :) And adjust the company logo shirts accordingly.
I am just a complainer today I guess. Could be a long night.... Oh did I mention it is out of town?... and that I have to ride in a company van with a bunch of people I really don't care to give the time of day to? Thank goodness my best bud Kel is going along too. That will help a lot.
I know life is filled with a bunch of things you don't necessarily want to do but have to do. But I think having life be filled with a bunch of things that you WANT to do and HAVE to do sounds much better to me! :) Ok I will quit dreaming now and get back to reality!

TGIF..

Yahoo...Friday...
It is amazing how much a person can look forward to a measily little 2 days off. But when Friday hits, my mood improves, I have a little extra jump in my step, and the world just seems like a better place. ha:)
Working out last night...nothing to note new as far as "eye candy".. But it was a good workout none the less. My left buttcheek feels like it got worked, but not my right buttcheek... ha-hmm wonder what happened there? Could it be cuz I am left handed???ha-ok maybe not.
My hydromassage package is gone. I used the last session last weekend. Totally bummed because they advertised that package as first time users only. Sooo I thought I was going to be stuck paying full price to "get massaged". Well turns out I CAN purchase another package. The packages have become so popular that they decided to let people buy them again if they want. Yahoo.. too cool...Sometimes life can be good! :)
I never had HBO when "Sex in the City" was on there....so I am a "Sex in the City" virgin catching the repeat episodes on WB and TBS. I love it. What a cool show. I sort of feel like Sarah Jessica Parker (aka Carrie Bradshaw) when I am writing on my blog. ha - only she is much more interesting and has a lot better stuff to write about than I do. Oh well... that's life. 4 women with completely different personalities, yet they are the best of friends. That's what life is all about. You don't have to have the same personality to connect with someone. Sometimes it's better that you are different I think.
Speaking of friends, I have this old friend that has been trying to reconnect with me. Turns out she is going to be moving back to the area where I live. Ya know, I just don't know that I want to go there. We are completely different people than we were back then, and I know now what a true friend is, and she wasn't one of them. If we were meant to be lifelong buddies, we would have kept in touch. That didn't happen. She was what I would call a user. I was her friend because I could provide her "this and that, that and this"....It was always about her. I just don't need that sort of hassle in my life now. BUT how do you nicely tell someone that? That is the million dollar question. Maybe she's changed, but I doubt it. Anyway, enough of that.
What else can I ramble on about today? Oh "TheMole" will be glad to hear that my stove top fetish has slowed down. I still love the shit but don't feel the need to eat it every evening as I had been. Sooo looks like the addiction isn't really anything to be too concerned about. ha :)

I Must Admit.....Again....

Ok....last night it was this cute little trainer guy that caught my interest. After he was done with his training session with one of the members, he decides to work out. Well he had shorts on and he sure has some nice legs on him. He's a little shorty but my he has some NICE legs.
This working out thing? Isn't as bad as I thought.. I should have done it a lot earlier! ha :)

I Must Admit...

The first think that attracts me to a guy is his eyes. I have always been that way. I love eyes. But lately I must admit I am liking another part of a guy's anatomy. I am becoming an ass person. I have to admit it. There are so many different types of asses out there. I don't like the "bubble butt" asses, or the flat asses. I like the asses that fill out a pair of jeans real nice but not too much. Not into the real beefed up asses either, although they are nice. I was working out the other day, riding away on the stationary bike, and this guy hops on the the arc trainer right in front of me. He wasn't beefed up by any means, but had a nice body. The thing that got me though was his ass. Man, it was perfect. Perfectly filled out the black sport shorts that he had on. Not too bulky or bubbly, but not flat either. It was an awesome view for my 30 minute bike ride. ha -the time went so fast :) Damn anyway...:)

Monday's...

Ever have one of those mornings? Where you just feel like you should have stayed in bed? Well that was me this morning. I was running late to start with which never helps. I pull out of my garage, and head to work, only to realize I forgot something. So I headed back and picked up the paperwork I needed. That was strike one....
Strike two was getting to work onlly to see that my normal parking spot was anything but normal. There was some light snow on the ground and the people on both sides of me didn't leave me enough room to park in my spot. So I had to park along side the parking lot.
Strike three was getting out of my vehicle and spilling capucchino on my shirt.... LOVELY...
I think it was at this point that I seriously thought about getting back in my vehicle, going home, and calling in sick. ha
Well the workday is now almost over, and after that shaky start it didn't end up too bad. I perservered through the strike's and the day got better after that.
Hopefully the workout will end my day on a good note.

I Miss Me..

There's this country singer, Brad Cotter. He has this song "I Miss Me".
"I miss me, I'm not the same, just someone else using my name"..... That's how I feel sometimes. I don't even feel like the same person somedays. The last few years have changed me so much. Yes I have allowed that to happen I guess, but I just don't even recognize myself. I look the same overall, other than a few more grays, and a few more wrinkles. But my personality? Well that's another story. I use to be fun. I use to enjoy things. It just seems like such a struggle to be like that again. I don't remember it being so much work before, and I am sure it wasn't, because I use to enjoy life. So it came more naturally to me. Now it takes effort. Maybe someday it won't take so much effort, and maybe someday soon I will recognize myself again.

Latest Food Obsession....

I have documented my "stove top stuffing" obsession. Well the latest thing I am hooked on for lunch is these South Beach wrap packages. YUM...and handy. I was at the grocery store and they were on sale. So I thought I would try them. How cool these are. They come with two wheat wraps, and all the ingredients you need. Cheese, meats, dressing or may, and even a little container of jello for dessert. Awesome. I am all about convenience. I am sure you could buy all the individual stuff and make the same wraps cheaper, but why? I love having it all ready for me and I just open er up, make my wrap and eat. How cool!
Way to go South Beach and Kraft....

Happy Anniversary to Me...

Well today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary, if I was still married. Why is it that days just stick with you and totally affect your mood? I felt great yesterday, had an awesome workout, and an overall productive day. But today? Feel like I am walking around with cement blocks on for shoes. I am sure some of you optimists are saying, "you have control over your mood", or "just don't let it get you down". I am just not that type of person. Wish I was. I can't help but reflect on what was, what is and what could have been. Certain days or dates in your life are just going to be like that. My "would have been" anniversary day is like that. I can't help it.
Hard to believe it has been two years already since my divorce. In some aspects it seems like just yesterday. In other ways it seems like a lifetime ago. The feelings are still as fresh as ever, but the toll it has taken on me feels like a lifetime worth. It has changed me forever. I am a completely different person than I was back then. I don't have the rose colored glasses on anymore, and in fact, don't even own a pair anymore. :) Some people may call me a pesimist, but I prefer to call myself a realist. Life isn't what I thought it was going to be when I was growing up. I was so excited to get out into the real world and experience it all. Boy can real life curb that excitement.
Now that I know that, I live my life differently. Some people would call it safe or not living at all, but I am just not capable of putting myself out there anymore. Maybe someday, but I am in control of my feelings and emotions. No one is going to "rock my world" like that again. It's just too painful and hard to recover from. Call that what you like...safe, not living, coward...whatever. But to me it is survival..... Happy Anniversary Honey...:)

What a Workout...

I was frickin possessed last night. I would have to say that was the best workout I have had since I started this whole "working out" thing. I was motivated, and I just felt good while I was killing myself. ha
I wish every time could be like that. It was fun. I did cardio and weights, and I just felt awesome. I looked like I was going to die, but I felt great. Anyway, it was a good workout. I went home afterwards and even got my taxes done already. Yippee... Working out just makes me feel better and more motivated. It would be nice if I had dropped about 50 pounds already too, but as long as I feel better, that's the main thing I guess.
I realize it is much better and productive if I do the "bitch" first. (Arc trainer). Get her out of the way, and move on to the other things. I need a lot of energy to "do" her...so to speak.. :) So before I get tired from other things, I need to "get er done."

The Voice...

"The phone rang, and as she looked at it, her heart sank. She recognized the number and knew it was him. Should she pick it or not she thought? Finally she answered. She heard....
The voice she hadn't heard in months....
The voice she had heard over and over for years and years.......
The voice that made her laugh...
The voice that calmed her when she needed it......
The voice that reasoned with her when no one else could......
The voice that got her to believe....
The voice that got her to trust.....
The voice that got her to love.....
The voice that got her to think in terms of forever......
The voice that broke her heart out of nowhere one fateful day......
The voice that made her realize things would never be the same again...
The voice that she wanted to hate so bad...
The voice that in spite of breaking her heart, she still longed to hear again.....
As she listened about the "non important" stuff he was talking about, she couldn't help but feel the sadness surface again that she had felt so much over these last few years. The voice still sounded the same, but life was nowhere near the same, and never would be again."

Workout Update...

Well it has been a little over two months now since I started working out. I really enjoy it and I never thought I would. I feel so much better when I go. Except last night. Wow what a struggle. For some reason it felt like it was the first time I was there. I felt like I was going to die. One thing I hate and will never get use to is the whole "sweating" in public thing. It just bugs me. Probably because I tend to sweat and get "red faced" more than the average person. Even if I am not dying. I can be totally under control in a workout and just kicking ass, and I still look like I am about to croak. I am just self conscious about stupid stuff like that. I wish I was one of those that exercised gracefully. You know the type; they can work out for hours and you can't tell it by looking at them. Bitches.... ha
Anyway, I haven't lost tons of weight... but my clothes fit me better. Even a little "loose". (the clothes not me) :) Oh hell who am I trying to fool....that sums up me AND my clothes. ha
I wish there was a way for the workout gods to give you a little teaser of weight loss right away. People would be so much more committed if they could see some visable results early on.
The gym is right across from work. So there are starting to be more fellow employees working out there now. That sort of bugs me too. When they see me at work, they see me at my best. (Or as good as it is going to get anyway). I just don't like the thought of them seeing me at my worst. Oh well.... fuck em. It will give them something to talk about I guess. Not that they need any help in that area. ha
You know I say fuck em...but I still care and still don't want them seeing me at my worst...Stupid but true.

Thanks..

Thanks to "TheMole" for visting my blog, and telling me that it isn't boring.... But that he was concerned about my stove top stuffing fetish. ha -I am concerned too mole.. very concerned. ha-I have heard of many fetishes that I would MUCH rather have than "stove top stuffing". :)
Anyway, thanks for the feedback, and good luck winning a game or two. :) I read a study that said stove top stuffing is good for a person's endorphins. May want to give it a try! ha :)

Flower Photo...

This is one of the first "good" pictures I had the priviledge of taking. From that point on, I was hooked.