Mom...

My dad has been mentioning over the last year that mom is getting sort of forgetful. I can't say I didn't immediately thinks Alzheimer's cuz I did. But it seemed sort of hit and miss and not very bad. Over the course of the last year that has gotten a little worse according to my dad. I have seen small signs of it but don't see her very often so I have to go by what he says. Well mom and dad were up here today and he said that he snuck a visit with her doctor and they are giving her some medication to hopefully help with that. He said, unfortunately, that it could very well be the beginning signs or stages of Alzheimer's. When dad told me that I wanted to puke. What a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have always thought that was the saddest disease EVER. How sad of a way for the person and their family to spend years of their lives. Dad said the medicine seems to be helping and that the last few weeks she has been sort of her old self. God I hope so. I honestly don't know that I can handle it if it gets bad like some people. Or my dad. Uff I feel sorry for him too. He isn't in the best of health himself and now he has to keep an eye on her and worry about that. He has to make sure she takes her medicine PLUS he has to take his own. All we can hope for is that it never gets to that stage where she doesn't even recognize her own family. How sad for people to have to go through that. I will never understand why life has to be so cruel sometimes. It just isn't fair. You would think there could be a more dignified and nicer way to age. Getting old just sucks and it sucks for the kids too who have to watch these people that they have looked up to and respected for so many years, suddenly deteriorate right before your eyes. I hate it. I just hate it.
Then there is the cost of these pills. Mom and dad are just getting by. Medicine isn't cheap. I hate to see them struggle with finances. I can help some, but I am not rich my any means. Wish I was. Dad told me a few stories about mom and I just got tears in my eyes thinking about them. She needs this medicine. I can only imagine how scary that is to feel like you are losing your mind. She has cried and everything in front of him and she doesn't do that. Even dad said that he can't remember the last time he saw mom cry. Uff it just makes me sick.
Then the paranoid side of me can't help but think if it's hereditary? Will I get it too one day?
Another thing. Is it just me or does it seem just when you are starting to get your shit together and finally starting to feel somewhat ok with things, that's when something bad happens. Never fails. Not that I was close to being my old self, but I have seen some real improvement as of late, and just when you have some "good" days, BAMM...something has to hit you. I just don't understand so many things about life. I hate the struggle. Well gee...I guess that is enough "happy thoughts" for one day.