I saw him...

Well I saw my "ex" today. I knew he was dating someone, but I don't think it quite sinks in until you SEE them together. I saw him first, and didn't focus on who he was with at first. I felt this ache in the pit of my stomach. Shit I hate that feeling. It makes me feel so vulnerable and so weak. Once I realized it was him, then of course I had to check her out. She wasn't what I expected. Of course they never are I guess. Anyway, they didn't see me but I saw them. I wandered around the store for a while, trying to get my things I needed, but also trying to not run into them again. I made it, until it was time to check out. There they were. I again saw him but he didn't see me...at first... Then I think he saw me but I wasn't looking at him. Out of the corner of my eye I think he was looking at me, but only for a brief moment. Then he turned away. Life can be so awkward sometimes. Here is this man that I spend 14 years of my life with, and now we can't even look at each other in a store? I felt weird about it all afternoon. You can just never prepare yourself I guess for stuff like that. I knew it was bound to happen, and was surprised it hasn't happened sooner. But you just can't handle situations like that with grace and dignity. I was all flustered, and hurt, and upset about it. What the heck does she have that I don't have? Not that he left me for her or anything, but you can't help but wonder what the person that they end up dating gives them that you didn't or couldn't. It sucks to feel that way.