She woke up, rolled over as she has done so many times over the last few years, expecting him to be there only to remember that he wasn't. She continued to lay in bed, lost in her own thoughts. Would she ever be able to let anyone into her heart ever again? Does she want to? Can she ever get past the pain and hurt to allow that to happen? Or is the door shut forever? Maybe some things are just better left alone. One thing she knew was that even though it has been over 2 years, the hurt, the pain, and the disappointment were still so much a part of her life. She can't imagine opening herself up to that sort of pain ever again. Why risk being made a fool of again?
She dreams of the possibility. Having someone that you feel so connected to, someone who you can't imagine living without. Someone who is there for you whenever you need them, and even when you don't. Someone to laugh with, cry with, and plan your future with.
Then she realizes that she had that, and that no matter how much you think it is forever, there are no guarantees. All the promises and commitments in the world don't mean shit. Cuz they can change on a dime. The reality of it hits her again, and the possibility is gone. So, for now, she continues to go through her days, feeling as little as she can, and depending on no one but herself. The thoughts of possiblities, hopes and dreams are gone.
The door is definitely closed again.....
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