My Blog...

"Junk Art" # 1...Series #2

2010-04-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

Junk Art # 10

2010-02-03T18:13:00.001-08:00

Junk Art #9....

2010-01-30T18:49:00.000-08:00

I am in LOVE.......with my kindle!

2010-01-30T18:47:00.000-08:00

Winter Campfire...

2010-01-17T19:37:00.001-08:00

Escape....

2010-01-11T17:48:00.001-08:00

Cute quote for anyone that uses a computer for work...
"I wish my escape button REALLY worked!"

Enough Already....

2009-12-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays...

2009-12-26T09:32:00.000-08:00

Junk Art # 8

2009-12-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

Quote..

2009-12-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's Resolutions:)
....Joey Adams....

Another winter shot...

2009-12-06T18:20:00.001-08:00

Winter Shot....

2009-12-06T18:17:00.000-08:00

More Junk Art....

2009-11-29T15:53:00.000-08:00

Junk Art #5

2009-11-11T19:06:00.001-08:00

More Junk Art...

2009-10-24T18:47:00.001-07:00

I Can Relate...

2009-10-19T16:56:00.001-07:00

Today marks 10 months since my mom passed away. When I read this post off a fellow blogger it really hit home. Her blog is http://www.theinternalmakeover.com/. It's a great post and anyone who has lost a parent can relate to it. Here it is!
"Since this site was created, I’ve tried my best to make you smile. It’s brought me more joy than you’ll ever know to hear the encouraging comments and cyber-laughs that sometimes ensue from my um, unusual take on life. Tomorrow will be another typical post, from another typical day.This however, is the exception for the year. For today is October 18th… and it marks the anniversary of the day we lost Mom. It was the day our world turned upside down. It’s hard to believe that nine years have passed since that day. The years pass...the familiar ache diminishes ever so slightly...everyday moments become easier to endure…they do.But still, we wonder: How long does a child grieve for its lost mother? Is there an expiration date on mourning? A day where the heartache just…melts away? A moment where you won’t be brought to tears by some unexpected, gentle reminder she’s left behind?She’s not supposed to be gone, you know. Why can’t anyone understand that simple fact? Her death was never supposed to happen…not now, not for a very long time. We should have had years with her…thousands of conversations, hundreds of shopping trips, countless lunches and brunches out. I feel cheated and immeasurably sad. Live has moved on, but it’s not the same anymore. She’s not there. I can’t just pick up the phone and find her. I dream that I’m trying to call her…and the numbers are wrong…or the phone’s unplugged; stupid, frustrating reasons. The dreams always end with silence…where the warm sound of her voice should have been.Our relationship with her was a much a friendship as anything…somewhere along the way, we crossed some imaginary line and became really good friends with our mother. Does that happen a lot these days? I’ve no clue, but I sensed even then how unique it was. A coming of age…finally appreciating her for the person she was and not just the one we could run to for unconditional help and support. She watched her three girls bring seven babies into the world and shared in the joy of watching them grow…but it was finite. She never got to see her only son marry his soul mate…never got to hold their precious babies.The injustice of it all leaves me breathless. I don’t want time to heal this wound…don’t want life to go on without her.Doesn’t anyone understand? I want her back.How do we go on with life when we feel like we’ve left someone behind? When every instinct is screaming inside to run back for the one who’s missing?How do we celebrate another celebration when someone so…essential is gone? They say the first of everything after a loss is the hardest…and it undeniably is. Surviving those aching moments of bereavement makes the next round easier to bear…but it still hurts. She’s still gone. The holidays are approaching…and the memories are fast on its heels and we must once again find a way to make it through.And I guess that’s the crux of it all. No matter what anyone says or does, the undeniable fact is that life will go on without her …like it or not. Somehow, we’ll need to accept this and find a way to move on. Maybe the way to do that is to imagine what Mom would have to say about it: That you can’t let your loss keep you from living. That just because she lost her life doesn’t mean she wants us to stop appreciating ours. That if anything, we should embrace all that she loved in this life, especially each other, and hold tight to our memories, our hopes and dreams...for they were hers as well.We’ll never forget. We’ll honor her every day by following her example:
Find the good in life and make it matter.
Take the high road whenever you can.
And don’t forget to take care of yourself.
I may never be able to put my arms around her again, except in my dreams, but I can still talk to her. I’ll share memories of her with the boys often, so they’ll never forget this woman who meant the world to me. I’ll remind them and all those I cherish how much I love them, so I’ll have no doubt that they always know.And I’ll never doubt for a moment that she’s listening."Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance~And if you get the chance to sit it out, or dance…I hope you dance."

Car Wash Pic...

2009-09-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Focal Sunset..

2009-08-31T19:08:00.000-07:00

More Junk Art...

2009-08-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

Junk Art...

2009-08-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Where Did Summer Go?

2009-08-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

Esmond Sunset...

2009-08-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

North Dakota Palm Tree....:)

2009-08-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well worth the drive........

2009-08-13T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well worth the drive #2....

2009-08-13T16:00:00.000-07:00

Country Colors...

2009-08-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Midwestern Scenery...

2009-07-30T19:27:00.000-07:00

Sprinkler Fun...

2009-07-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

More Clouds...

2009-07-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

Eagle's Nest...(HUGE)

2009-06-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

Storm Clouds....

2009-06-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Would you believe?

2009-06-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking on my blog lately. Would you believe me if I blamed it on the weather? :) OK maybe not, BUT the crappy weather does affect me and my creativity/production! I hope summer is on it's way because so far spring hasn't been anything good that's for sure!!!! We can hope anyway!

Mom...

2009-05-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

On this day dedicated to mother's you are on my mind. I think of you every day since we lost you but especially today. I love you and miss you!

Spring?

2009-05-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

The tulips say spring is here, but the weather hasn't quite caught on to the idea yet... I think Niesha said it best..."Spring! Take off your coat and stay a while!"

The Teardrops First Day in the SUN!

2009-05-03T19:43:00.001-07:00

Spring Has Sprung...

2009-05-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

My Brother...

2009-04-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

What a great brother I have. His wife and I get this hair brain idea to build our own teardrop campers, and he not only embraces it, but goes above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined. He totally stepped up to the plate and hit "two great teardrops" out of the park! These things have fascinated us, frustrated us, excited us, and literally consumed us. What a great ride it has been! Love you bro! You are the best. Let the nice weather begin so we can really take a great ride!

My Teardrop...

2009-04-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

Teardrop #1....finished...

Mike & Beth's Teardrop...

2009-04-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

Teardrop #2...finished.

Sun...what a drug!

2009-04-22T16:55:00.001-07:00

What is it about the sun? The last few days it has been out in full force and the change in people is amazing. What a great drug it is. People are happy, energetic and ready to spend time outside.
The winter was unusually hard here, so I am sure that adds to it. I am living proof of this. These last few days I have done more than I did all winter!!!! :):) Crazy how it can motivate you and make you feel so great! Bring on the sun!!!! :):)

Another view...

2009-04-22T16:53:00.001-07:00

Sometimes while chilling I get a glimpse of one of these...........

I missed this view....

2009-04-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

This might not look like much, but if I am seeing this, then it means it is nice enough for me to be chilling out on my patio and relaxing in my oh so comfortable patio chair.

Sure Sign of Spring....................

2009-04-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

Tulips are always a great sign that spring is here...

My Teardrop Camper...

2009-04-15T19:24:00.001-07:00

Cool portrait of my teardrop.....

Wind Anyone?

2009-04-15T18:08:00.000-07:00

Great day other than the wind.................

Could it be?

2009-04-15T18:06:00.001-07:00

Do we dare to believe that spring is actually and FINALLY here? Today almost makes me believe...

No more brass.....

2009-04-12T19:23:00.001-07:00

Bye bye brass...hello to the look of stone..

After............

2009-04-12T19:19:00.001-07:00

Still my garage sale headboard...but not quite so 80's anymore...

Before....

2009-04-12T19:14:00.001-07:00

My 80's garage sale headboard...

Almost Finished...

2009-04-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

We are almost done with my teardrop camper. Exciting!

My Teardrop Has A Name....

2009-04-08T18:38:00.000-07:00

I ordered this plaque to put on my teardrop. Dad said I need to name it and christen it like they do with boats. They usually name them after people or something meaningful. He mentioned "The Lisa Marie". But I couldn't think of anything more meaninful than the memory of my mom. Miss you mom and think of you everyday!

First Spring Time Yard Purchase...

2009-04-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

I love spring time yard shopping....This is my first purchase of the season. What a cutie she is...:)

Icicles II...

2009-03-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

Icicles I...

2009-03-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

Close up.......

March-"Out Like a Lion"....

2009-03-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Just when we thought spring was here, old man winter showed us who is boss. Here are some icicles off my house. The roof WAS all clear...not anymore!

Heartbeat.....

2009-03-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

"My heartbeat beats me senselessly"...

What a great phrase. This is part of a song called "longshot" off the new Kelly Clarkson CD. As soon as I heard those words, it struck me as such a great lyric. How true when you really think about it and what it can mean. The feelings of the heart can really beat a person up sometimes and in a lot of cases you have little or no control over the beating!:)

Sunrise II...............

2009-03-21T17:08:00.001-07:00

Sunrise I......

2009-03-21T17:07:00.001-07:00

Moonshots IV....

2009-03-21T17:04:00.001-07:00

Last one...I promise....:)

Moonshot III....

2009-03-21T17:02:00.001-07:00

I have had an obsession of sorts with moon shots:)

Moon Shot II...

2009-03-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

I manipulated this one by varying the saturation levels. Kind of funky in a way...:)

Moon Shot I...

2009-03-12T17:43:00.000-07:00

No manipulation here...All naturale..:)

Night School....

2009-03-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

Since her mom got sick and eventually passed away, evening phone calls with her dad have been a frequent occurence. They both looked forward to these calls and her dad loved to talk! Early on it was about mom, her deteriorating condition, their fears and tears, and how dad was doing. Lately the calls have been about people and history. It started with the St Valentine's day massacure and then moved on to people. Her dad was amazed how quickly she could find information on the internet. Not owning a computer and not familar at all with the wonderful world of the internet, he was like a kid in a candy store. She would read him stuff and sometimes print articles out and mail them to him. He has this buddy, and they were always talking history, politics, and anything else that came up. One night he called and was asking about a news anchor. With ease the daughter found what he was looking for and was giving him the information he was seeking. A few minutes later the phone rang again and it was him requesting another "google" search. His buddy had a name he wanted looked up. So the information was given and then the dad said he told people he had been going to "night school" and the teacher was his daughter...:) This made her laugh and smile. A+ Dad....A+

Oh How I Can Relate.....

2009-03-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

My Dad read me this article out of the local newspaper back home. It got to me so much that I had to find it on line and add it to my blog. It's from a gal who went to the same school as I did and who is going through the same thing we went through last year with my mom. It really hit home. It is a good column.
"Last week was a nostalgic one for me. Everywhere I turned there were reminders of a past that is gone, never to return . . . My mom always had an uncanny knack for showing up on Fridays during Lent, just before I bit into a big juicy hamburger. There is nothing like a “you are going to burn in Hell if you eat that” look from my mom to spoil your appetite for meat. But this year Ash Wednesday came and went without that irritating phone call from her, “Shelly, what are you giving up for Lent?”“Um let me think . . . Oh yeah, I’m giving up maternal guilt trips this year, Mom. So as much as it pains me, I can’t talk to you until after Easter. Remember to offer it up. Bye!” Click.I won’t be getting any more calls like that from my mom. The part of her brain that remembers that kind of stuff is being attacked by an “old people disease” called dementia. But my mom isn’t old, damn it! She’s my mom. And I want things back, the way they used to be.I drove to Esmond last week to talk to the new owners of the locker plant. I rounded the curve on the highway, went over a little hill and passed Pat Wolfe’s farm. I could see the school and the church off in the distance. And I wondered how many times I’d ridden the school bus on that road. No matter how much time passes between visits, I still know it like the back of my hand.From a distance nothing has changed in Esmond. But I couldn’t help but notice the huge snow drifts piled up where the buses used to park in front of the school. There are no footprints in the snow. The playground, where brutal games of tackle tag were once played, silently waits for someone to call, “Last two.” I want to hear Mrs. Olson threaten to make us wear “the dress” when we come in from recess soaking wet, covered in mud. I want to get caught by Mrs. Leibhan stealing candy from Mrs. Wolfe’s treat jar. And I want one more bear hug from Mrs. Fix. I want things the way they used to be . . . but will never be again.Saturday I turned on the computer and read that Paul Harvey had died. What?! I wanted to cry. If they made a soundtrack of my life his voice would be in the background saying, “And now you know the rest of the story.” He’s one of those voices I remember being there throughout my life. He was supposed to live forever. I wasn’t sure they’d know who I was talking about when I told my kids, “Guess what? Paul Harvey died.”Brennan said, “What?! No way! He can’t die. What is Ralph going to listen to in the morning when he picks us up for school? Who is going to say, ‘Good day’ and tell us all about ocular nutrition?”They then launched into their best Paul Harvey imitations. It turns out that voice was as much a part of their daily lives as it was mine. That made me realize my kids are living and recording their own nostalgic childhood memories right now and storing it away for future reference. I can only hope that the annoying things I do and say now will make perfect sense to them some day. And my parents’ memories of raising kids are a lot like the reality I’m living today. We are all on the same journey, just at different points on the road. It’s fun to take trips down memory lane as long as I don’t linger too long. When I live in the past I forget about the present and the future gets all screwed up. I have to appreciate life as it is right now because today’s precious moments are tomorrow’s “good old days.”--taken from Benson County Press.

Layla (AKA the snow dog)

2009-03-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

I got this shot this weekend babysitting my brother's dog. She loves the snow!!!

The bridge....

2009-03-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

I like the contrast of the red train against the white snow.

Best Friends...

2009-03-07T17:30:00.000-08:00

What is it about best friends? I got the luxury of spending a few hours with my very busy best friend Friday night. It was awesome and I enjoyed every minute of it. I totally appreciate the fact that she took time to spend time with me. It is so nice to have someone that you just totally click with, and that means the world to you. Nothing special is necessary to enjoy your time together because the best part is just that; you are together.Doesn't matter where you spend it or what you do. Just the fact that you are together is more than enough....Thanks Kel.....Love ya!

Spring Fever....

2009-03-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

Wow....40 degrees today. One nice day and spring fever hits!!! It has been a long winter and I can't wait for it to be over. Anything can happen in March, but hopefully it is a mild month. We deserve it after the crazy winter we have had!!

My Fav Little Local Bar.....

2009-03-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

What a great little place. Small, quaint and kind of eclectic. Great place to sit, enjoy a drink and enjoy the great company of friends!

Salt Lake City....

2009-02-28T13:51:00.000-08:00

Fog and Frost IV...

2009-02-17T19:45:00.001-08:00

Fog and Frost III...

2009-02-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

Fog and Frost II...

2009-02-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Fog and Frost...

2009-02-17T19:42:00.000-08:00

Quality Time....

2009-02-08T17:58:00.000-08:00

Quality time is time that is spent and invested mutually in one or two other people. There could be conversation, or no conversation, laughter, tears, whatever... Each person involved in the quality time is focused on the other people involved and nothing else. It could be 15 minutes, an hour, or a day. Quality is quality. I believe that this is the only way that relationships can truly blossom and bloom.

Bored at the carwash...

2009-02-08T17:50:00.001-08:00

One door down...

2009-02-08T17:47:00.001-08:00

Door with the trim....

Morning sweetie...

2009-02-08T17:38:00.001-08:00

She was talking to her dad and he was talking about her mom's picture in the living room. How it feels like her eyes follow her around the room. A friend of his said the same thing happened to her when her husband died, and she had his picture in the living room. It made her so uncomfortable that she had to put the picture in another room. What did her dad say to this? It makes him feel like part of her is still there and he even finds himself saying "morning sweetie" sometimes. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she heard him say this. Talk about a sweetie. Her dad was the sweetest.....

We have a door....

2009-02-05T19:41:00.001-08:00

Find your happy place...

2009-02-01T10:50:00.000-08:00

This is a great saying. In times of need, sometimes it helps to let your mind go somewhere else. Somewhere that is relaxing and non stressful. Whatever it is that makes your brain feel better even though the crappy stuff hasn't changed. It's like taking a break from life. That's what is necessary for sanity. I truly believe that.

Updated pic's of teardrop....

2009-01-27T19:39:00.000-08:00

How exciting and how fun!!!! What a great project!

Teardrop progress...

2009-01-25T18:16:00.000-08:00

What a great weekend. Excellent progress was made on the teardrop. We got the top on and got it stained. EXCITING!!!

What's hangin from your mirror?

2009-01-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

I think it is fascinating to see the different things people hang from their mirrors in their vehicles. I have always been one of those people. Have to have something hanging from there. Started with fuzzy dice many, many years ago. :)

Anyway here is what is hanging from mine right now! Something to remind me of summer and something to remind me of a great friendship.

5 years later...

2009-01-18T12:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday would have been my 19th wedding anniversary, had my X not decided to end it. It was the first anniversary since then that I can honestly say I didn't let it get to me. It took 5 years but for the first time since my divorce that day was just another day. I feel good about that, but also sad it took that long. But for whatever it is worth, better late than never I guess......

My roof...

2009-01-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

Beautiful picture if I wasn't so sick of the white stuff!

Another winter pic...

2009-01-11T15:16:00.001-08:00

It may all melt by July....:)

Snow, snow, snow...

2009-01-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

We are so sick of snow up here that we could about scream! Way too much of a good thing, that's for sure. You know it's bad when Walmart has to close because of the hazard of too much snow on their roof and the risk of it possibly caving in!!

Another view...

2009-01-07T18:19:00.000-08:00

First pic of the teardrop.....

2009-01-07T18:13:00.000-08:00

Teardrop Camper...

2009-01-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

I had never camped before last summer. 41 years old and had never camped. No desire to either. But an invitation from my brother and his wife to come down to spend the night with them, and by the next day I was hooked. Totally fell in love with it. Tented it the first summer and loved every minute of it.
This winter we get the idea to build a teardrop camper. My sister in law has always loved them. So I did some research on the internet and found some building instructions. This past weekend we started building the first one. How exciting. It was too cool to see things coming together. Can't wait to work on it some more and get er done. Then the fun starts. Personalizing it and eventually using it for the first time this upcoming summer.
It is nice to have something to focus on since losing mom. I miss you mom and I know you are enjoying the fact that we are spending time together and enjoying this project. That's all you cared about was us all being happy and enjoying each other. We think of you everyday...

Winter Shot....

2009-01-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

Quote...

2009-01-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

My Aunt Carlotta sends out a Xmas letter every year. She always has stuff from the heart in there. That's just who she is. She is one of the nicest, sweetest and most caring people I know. Anyway, her letter this year was no different....
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets;
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life let it."
Thanks Cotty....

2009

2008-12-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

My Wish for You in 2009
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success and may happiness slap you across the face.
May your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words . . . May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
Quote from Twisted Sisterhood website

Friendship....

2008-12-30T18:26:00.001-08:00

A friend is someone
who listens and cares;
A friend is someone
who 's always there;
A friend brings happiness
that can warm and mend
I am glad that
I can call you friend;
A lot of people have entered and left my life
but one thing remained true;
I've never met a single soul
who has toucheed my heart like you
Thank you for being a friend...
Poem off Twisted Sisterhood Website...

The Funeral...

2008-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

No matter how much you think you are prepared for a funeral, fate smacks you in the face to let you know you had no friggin idea. Dec 22nd was the toughest day of my life to date. Friends and family all around, yet it felt like I was all alone struggling to get through the funeral of my mom. The lost empty feeling was so strong and so much to bear. My dad next to me trying to put on a brave face, but even he felt the difficulty of the day. How do you really say goodbye to someone that has been so much a part of your life..how do you really accept the fact that she is gone? To see the picture of her up there and the flowers all around it, took my breath away. Such an overwhelming and helpless feeling. All the kind words, and the caring people were no consolation on a day like this. All I wanted to do was run out of there and get away. The urge was so strong and it was hard to try and make it through it all. Terrible day and terrible holiday. Merry fucking Xmas. How do you enjoy a holiday when you lose your mom/wife two days before? It's just not possible. Not only that, but then you are expected to go on with normal day to day life. Yeah right...

Death...

2008-12-27T11:33:00.000-08:00

"Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, but love leaves a memory that no one can steal." Quote on a sympathy card I got from a friend....

The Call..

2008-12-21T17:55:00.000-08:00

It came at 2:30 in the morning. As soon as she realized the phone was ringing and looked at the time on the clock, she knew what it was. Her brother's voice on the other end said mom was gone. They had been expecting the call for a few days. Ever since the home told them she had become non responsive. Basically wasn't responding to anything so she couldn't be fed. No feeding tube that was her request. It was just a matter of time. 6 days later and the call came. Part of her said thank goodness. She isn't suffering anymore. The other part of her was hurting inside. Even though she had time to prepare for the call it didn't make it any easier. She lay there, feeling sort of numb, and feeling like she had just been kicked in the gut. Her mind was racing and she tried to slow it down. Her heart was doing weird things and she felt anxiety. Relax...breathe....deep breath's and slow things down. It felt like forever but she finally was able to calm down and eventually fell back to sleep.

The Call Before "The Call"...

2008-12-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

She could tell the minute her brother spoke. Gone was the usual joking and smartass voice. Instead it was serious and cold. He had gotten a call from the nursing home. Mom is nonresponsive to them today. The hospice nurse doesn't think she will make it through the week. Even though she had imagined getting a call like this, it still didn't make it any easier. It still hit her like a ton of bricks. The senses weren't dulled at all by the fact she knew it was coming. Just as "the call" when it comes in the next few days won't be any easier.

Grief...

2008-12-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

"Grief is selfish because it is all about you. It's about you needing and missing that person who has gone. And you don't just lose them. You lose the person you were with them; those jokes and moments and that side of your personality theybrought out. Your body collapses because part of you has gone." Quote from author Anna McPartlin-book Pack up the Moon."
How true that quote is. My situation is a perfect example. My mom isn't really living and it would be better for her if she weren't, but I don't want that. I don't want to have to deal with the death, the grief and the process. Selfish but true.

It Never Fails...

2008-12-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

The minute you admit that things feel better and that you can actually enjoy a day or two in a row; reality kicks you in the ass. Some sick joke from above. A phone call from dad...who got a call from the nurse..she's not eating well, she's down to 119 pounds, has a slight fever and she's extremely agitated. Not eating isn't good...a fever isn't good....I try to tell him that maybe it's just a bad day and she will start eating well again. But he can't get past the thought of her not eating, and dwindling away. Laying there, no feeding tube as was her wish, but having to watch that and think about her slowly starving her body to death? Well the thought just rips us both apart as we talk about it. Borrowed time couldn't me more true. Just when you think you may have more, you get proven wrong. That's what a person get's for thinking and actually hoping. Hope gets you nowhere but disappointed....A sad fact that she managed to forget for a brief period of "borrowed time."